Texting Under The Influence
by UmbrataLupus
Summary: A week of exchanges between Derek and Stiles. In which Stiles abuses his contact naming rights and Derek gets possessive.
1. Fun with Names

**Title:** Texting Under The Influence  
**Summary:** A week of exchanges during which Stiles abuses his contact naming rights and Derek gets possessive.  
**Rating:** K+ [Depends on your imagination really]  
**Coupling:** Sterek

* * *

**Saturday - Morning**

* * *

**To:** SourWolf ;) _7:14am_  
**Message:** i hope you die.

**To:** SourWolf ;) _7:15am_  
**Message:** i hope your children die.

**To:** SourWolf ;) _7:18am_  
**Message:** i hope your childrens children die

**To:** SourWolf ;) _7:20am_  
**Message:** & i hope its in a deep dark crevce

**To:** SourWolf ;) _7:22am_  
**Message:** where noone can get to them

**To:** SourWolf ;)_ 7:29am_  
**Message:** but they can hear your screams.

**From: **SourWolf ;) _7:32am_  
**Message:** What did I do?

**To:** SourWolf ;) _7:33am_  
**Message:** Omigod! your awake! yay! xoxo

**From:** SourWolf ;) _7:36am_  
**Message:** Seriously? "xoxo"?

**To:** SourWolf ;) _7:37am _**  
Message:** Im lonely :( its hugs and kisses! xoxo

**From:** SourWolf ;) _7:42am_  
**Message:** It's Saturday. Morning.

**To:** SourWolf ;) _7:43am_  
**Message:** Im all alone in my house though.

**To:** SourWolf ;) _7:44am_  
**Message:** Dad's work & the laundrys taking 4evrr!

**To:** SourWolf ;) _7:59am_  
**Message:** Really? "alone & clothsless" is all it took?

* * *

**Sunday - Night**

* * *

**From:** CuddleWolf ;)_ 8:15pm_  
**Message:** Wake up.

**From:** CuddleWolf ;) _8:20pm_  
**Message:** Stiles, you cannot be this tired.

**From:** CuddleWolf ;) _8:27pm_  
**Message:** Go home to bed.

**To:** CuddleWolf ;) _8:29pm_  
**Message:** cuddlezz? xoxo

**From:** CuddleWolf ;) _8:31pm_  
**Message:** We're in the middle of a meeting.

**To:** CuddleWolf ;) _8:33pm_  
**Message:** & ur txting? rude!

**To:** CuddleWolf ;) _8:34pm_  
**Message:** xoxo

**To:** CuddleWolf ;) _8:38pm_  
**Message:** U know what? its totally ok. ill cuddle w/ scotty

**To:** CuddleWolf ;) _8:40pm_  
**Message:** Laps. really?

**To:** CuddleWolf ;) _8:40pm_  
**Message:** xoxo

**From:** CuddleWolf ;) _8:42pm_  
**Message:** You can always "invade my bubble". As you say.

**To:** CuddleWolf ;) _8:43pm_  
**Message:** We gon' cuddle. :D xoxo

**From:** CuddleWolf ;) _8:44pm_  
**Message:** Shut up, Stiles. Change my contacts name!

* * *

**Monday - Morning**

* * *

**To:** AlphaMyAlpha _10:57am_  
**Message:** i'm gunna hang myself

**To:** AlphaMyAlpha _10:59am_  
**Message:** or her. it's undecided... xoxo

**From:** AlphaMyAlpha _11:02am_  
**Message:** Shouldn't you be in class?

**To:** AlphaMyAlpha _11:05am_  
**Message:** i am. save me? xoxo

**From:** AlphaMyAlpha _11:07am_  
**Message:** Pay attention.

**To:** AlphaMyAlpha _11:09am_  
**Message:** but this sub sucks! :(:(:( xo

**From:** AlphaMyAlpha _11:10am_  
**Message:** Stiles.

**To:** AlphaMyAlpha _11:11am_  
**Message:** Darling? (1111 make a wish!) xoxo

**From:** AlphaMyAlpha _11:13am_  
**Message:** I wish you'd pay attention in class.

**To:** AlphaMyAlpha _11:15am_  
**Message:** well, ur just no fun.

**To:** AlphaMyAlpha _11:16am_  
**Message:** xoxo

**From:** AlphaMyAlpha _11:18am_  
**Message:** Do you remember Saturday afternoon?

**To:** AlphaMyAlpha _11:19am_  
**Message:** Vividly. :)

**From:** AlphaMyAlpha _11:20am_  
**Message:** If you pay attention in your classes...

**To:** AlphaMyAlpha _11:21am_  
**Message:** Stop texting me then! xoxo

* * *

**Tuesday - Afternoon**

* * *

**From:** Derek Hale _12:15pm _  
**Message:** Stiles, Did you break into my phone?

**To:** Derek Hale _12:16pm_  
**Message:** U did it to me!

**From:** Derek Hale _12:17pm_  
**Message:** "Alpha" is not a name, Stiles.

**To:** Derek Hale _12:19pm_  
**Message:** neither is "Idiot" :(

**From:** MeanerWolf _12:20pm_  
**Message:** I hadn't gotten around to changing it yet!

**From:** MeanerWolf _12:27pm_  
**Message:** Stiles, it is a contacts name.

**From:** MeanerWolf _12:35pm_  
**Message:** Pick something other then this one and I'll change it.

**To:** MeanerWolf _12:37pm_  
**Message:** i like Mate o' Mine...

**From:** MeanerWolf _12:39pm_  
**Message:** Stiles.

**To:** MeanerWolf _12:40pm_  
**Message:** Babe.

**From:** MeanerWolf _12:42pm_  
**Message:** Pick a name.

**To:** MeanerWolf _12:43pm_  
**Message:** i just did. xoxo

**From:** MeanerWolf _12:45pm_  
**Message:** Deal.

* * *

**Wednesday - Morning(ish)**

* * *

**To:** SexyBeast _2:01am_  
**Message:** ERMERGERD DUREYK!?

**To:** SexyBeast _2:02am_  
**Message:** DERERK?! D:?

**To:** SexyBeast _2:04am_  
**Message:** DERK?! ALPHERR? LOVER!?

**From:** SexyBeast _2:06am_  
**Message:** Why are you up?

**To:** SexyBeast _2:09am_  
**Message:** DERERK! ILERVYER! x0x0X.

**From:** SexyBeast _2:13am_  
**Message:** What's wrong with you? Why aren't you answering your calls?

**To:** SexyBeast _2:17am_  
**Message:** so thatss were the musc was comin frm.. & lots o capn

**From:** SexyBeast _2:20am_  
**Message:** I'm coming to get you.

**To:** SexyBeast _2:23am_  
**Message:** nuuuuuubody home! ;p x0xo

**From:** SexyBeast _2:32am_  
**Message:** Where are you.

**To:** SexyBeast _2:37am_  
**Message:** were the ded ppl r. x0

**From:** SexyBeast _2:39am_  
**Message:** Why are you in the cemetery?

**To:** SexyBeast _2:42am_  
**Message:** is mumys birthday...

* * *

**Wednesday - Afternoon**

* * *

**To:** SexyBeast _3:14pm_  
**Message:** Hii. xoxo

**From:** SexyBeast _3:15pm_  
**Message:** You're awake.

**To:** SexyBeast _3:18pm_  
**Message:** why am i in a nest all alone?

**To:** SexyBeast _3:18pm_  
**Message:** my head hurts :(...

**From:** SexyBeast _3:20pm_  
**Message:** It's not a nest, it's my bed. I'm turning up the driveway.

**To:** SexyBeast_ 3:22pm_  
**Message:** We gon' cuddle? why am i at yer place?

**From:** SexyBeast _3:24pm_  
**Message:** After you eat. You were - sick.

**To:** SexyBeast _3:25pm_  
**Message:** ...yeah I saw the date on my screen..

**From:** SexyBeast_ 3:27pm_  
**Message:** I'm coming through the door.

**To:** SexyBeast _3:27pm_  
**Message:** I'm going back to sleep :(

* * *

**Thursday - Afternoon**

* * *

**To:** Mate O Mine _12:02pm_  
**Message:** lunchtime! harris wants my head on a platter.

**From:** Mate O Mine _12:05pm_  
**Message:** Why.

**To:** Mate O Mine _12:06pm_  
**Message:** the Derek voice in my head read that growly...

**From:** Mate O Mine _12:07pm_  
**Message:** Stiles.

**To:** Mate O Mine _12:08pm_  
**Message:** scott had a stupid excuse for me missing class yesterdya

**To:** Mate O Mine _12:09pm_  
**Message:** yesterday* xoxo

**From:** Mate O Mine _12:10pm_  
**Message:** Which was?

**To:** Mate O Mine _12:11pm_  
**Message:** "personal stuff" Cuz thats legit. isaacs staring at me O_o

**From:** Mate O Mine _12:14pm_  
**Message:** He should have just said you were sick.

**To:** Mate O Mine _12:15pm_  
**Message:** yeah.. not that bright babe. Isaacs still staring at me

**To:** Mate O Mine: _12:16pm_  
**Message:** your three musketeers are staring at me...

**To:** Mate O Mine _12:17pm_  
**Message:** DEREK!

**From:** Mate O Mine _12:18pm_  
**Message:** My room smells like you.

**To:** Mate O Mine _12:19pm_  
**Message:** And that's why Ericas shredding me with her eyes?

**From:** Mate O Mine _12:20pm_  
**Message:** She won't touch you.

**To:** Mate O Mine _12:22pm_  
**Message:** well thats deprssing i was so wanting that! -.-

**From:** Mate O Mine _12:23pm_  
**Message:** ...What?

**To:** Mate O Mine _12:25pm_  
**Message:** should i put 'sarcasm' in brackets next time?

**To:** Mate O Mine _12:27pm_  
**Message:** Derek?

**To:** Mate O Mine _12:30pm_  
**Message:** Hello?

**To:** Mate O Mine _12:32pm_  
**Message:** Your betas are skipping?!

**To:** Mate O Mine _12:35pm_  
**Message:** was it really necssary to come to the school?

**To:** Mate O Mine _12:37pm_  
**Message:** omg I was just kidding!

* * *

**Friday - Night**

* * *

**To:** Jealous Boyfriend _8:18pm_  
**Message:** No.

**From:** Jealous Boyfriend _8:19pm_  
**Message:** Come on, Stiles.

**To:** Jealous Boyfriend _8:22pm_  
**Message:** No, I have homework.

**From:** Jealous Boyfriend _8:22pm_  
**Message:** It wasn't that bad.

**To:** Jealous Boyfriend _8:26pm_  
**Message:** Yeah the talk with my dad was awesome, thanks.

**From:** Jealous Boyfriend _8:27pm_  
**Message:** You started it with that comment about Erica.

**To:** Jealous Boyfriend _8:28pm_  
**Message:** Really? "You started it"? Mature, Derek. Go away, I'm busy.

**From:** Jealous Boyfriend _8:29pm_  
**Message:** I can wait, Stiles.

**To:** Jealous Boyfriend _8:36pm_  
**Message:** Enjoy the rain.

**From:** Jealous Boyfriend _8:37pm_  
**Message:** I said I was sorry.

**To:** Jealous Boyfriend _8:42pm_  
**Message:** You don't reply this fast when I like you. :(

**From:** Jealous Boyfriend _8:43pm_  
**Message:** You don't normally need me to.

**To:** Jealous Boyfriend _8:45pm_  
**Message:** ...

**From:** Jealous Boyfriend _8:46pm_  
**Message:** Stiles, let me in.

**To:** Jealous Boyfriend _8:50pm_  
**Message:** No. Shan't.

**From:** Jealous Boyfriend _8:51pm_  
**Message:** Please.

**To:** Jealous Boyfriend _9:02pm_  
**Message:** Can't. No Big Bad Wolves allowed.

**From:** Jealous Boyfriend _9:03pm_  
**Message:** You're not usually so grammatically accurate with your texts.

**To:** Jealous Boyfriend _9:17pm_  
**Message:** Really? That's the technique you use to get in?

**From:** Jealous Boyfriend _9:19pm_  
**Message:** Please, Little Red.

**From:** Jealous Boyfriend _9:34pm_  
**Message:** Stiles? I didn't mean that as an insult.

**To:** Jealous Boyfriend _9:39pm_  
**Message:** windows unlocked.

**From:** My Derek _9:40pm_  
**Message:** Xoxo.

* * *

**A/N:**"Write a Text story between Stiles and Derek" She says. She being SpaghettiTacos, and I hate her. She's an evil Temptress and you should avoid her unless you want to spend many sleepless nights doing her bidding! I hope you're happy, Amerie! R&R

Tell me your favorite line!


	2. Fun with Wolves

**Title:** Texting Under The Influence  
**Summary:** Stiles gets a family visit, Scotty gets a birthday a party. Derek? He gets a headache.  
**Rating:** K+ (Boys Kissing...and stuff)  
**Coupling:** Sterek, Danny/Isaac+Scott

* * *

**Sunday - Afternoon**

* * *

**From:** Catwoman _12:02pm_  
**Message:** Hey Batman!

**To:** Catwoman _12:04pm _  
**Message:** Go To Jail.

**From:** GoldenBoy _12:10pm_  
**Message:** Stiles?

**To:** GoldenBoy _12:12pm _  
**Message:** Move Directly To Jail.

**From:** Wolverine _12:15pm_  
**Message:** What's wrong with you?

**To:** Wolverine _12:19pm_  
**Message:** Do Not Pass Go.

**From:** Derek Hale _12:27pm_  
**Message:** Are you okay, Stiles?

**To:** Derek Hale _12:29pm _  
**Message:** Do Not Collect $200.

**From:** Derek Hale _12:32pm_  
**Message:** Come on, Stiles. Pick up the phone.

**To:** Derek Hale _12:37pm_  
**Message:** The number you have dialed is not in service.

**To:** Derek Hale _12:46pm_  
**Message:** I can't believe you called the house.

* * *

**Monday - Morning**

* * *

**From:** Alpha Hale _9:15am_  
**Message:** Do you have school?

**To:** Alpha Hale_ 9:20am_  
**Message:** Break.

**From:** Alpha Hale _9:22am_  
**Message:** Are you home?

**To:** Alpha Hale _9:27am _  
**Message:** Yes.

**From:** Alpha Hale _9:29am_  
**Message:** Why are you acting like this?

**To:** Alpha Hale _9:37am _  
**Message:** What?

**From:** Alpha Hale _9:40am_  
**Message:** Like I'm annoying you.

**To:** Alpha Hale _9:49am _  
**Message:** I was beng mrdrd by zoms man. txin on handd. lucky i replied.

**From:** Alpha Hale _9:52am_  
**Message:** Lucky.

**To:** Alpha Hale _9:53am_  
**Message:** Yes. clearly i love you mor ethen my high score.

**To:** Alpha Hale _10:07am _  
**Message:** I swear to god if you freak ovr that i will eat yur childrn Derk.

**From:** Alpha Hale _10:09am_  
**Message:** Derk?

**To:** Alpha Hale _10:11am_  
**Message:** Good youre alive. typo. xo

**From:** Alpha Hale _10:13am_  
**Message:** Breakfast?

**To:** Alpha Hale _10:15am _  
**Message:** sure come over i'll make somethin

**From:** Alpha Hale _10:19am_  
**Message:** Not what I meant.

**To:** Alpha Hale _10:22am_  
**Message:** I'ts what your gettting.

**From:** Alpha Hale _10:24am_  
**Message:** Be there soon.

* * *

**Tuesday - Evening**

* * *

**To:** Jealous Boyfriend _7:04pm_  
**Message:** i cant belive you made him cry.

**From:** Jealous Boyfriend _7:06pm_  
**Message:** I didn't know.

**To:** Jealous Boyfriend _7:07pm_  
**Message:** blantant famly resemblnce didnt do it for you?

**From:** Jealous Boyfriend _7:10pm _  
**Message:** I apologized.

**To:** Jealous Boyfriend _7:11pm_  
**Message:** AFTER you made him bleed!

**From:** Jealous Boyfriend _7:13pm_  
**Message:** I'll buy him an apology gift.

**To:** Jealous Boyfriend _7:15pm _  
**Message:** got 7k?!

**From:** Jealous Boyfriend _7:16pm_  
**Message:** Yes.

**To:** Jealous Boyfriend _7:24pm_  
**Message:** then why do you live in that awful compleX?

**From:** Jealous Boyfriend _7:27pm_  
**Message:** It's closer to you.

**To:** Jealous Boyfriend _7:32pm_  
**Message:** ...shut up. Immad at you.

* * *

**Wednesday - Late Morning**

* * *

**To:** Perfect Jealousboyfriend _10:52am _  
**Message:** No.

**From:** Perfect Jealousboyfriend _10:54am_  
**Message:** It's an apology.

**To:** Perfect Jealousboyfriend _10:55am _  
**Message:** i get that. no bombshell.

**From:** Perfect Jealousboyfriend _10:57am _  
**Message:** Why?

**To:** Perfect Jealousboyfriend _10:59am _  
**Message:** SHE WIll BREAK MY COUSIN. bring ISaac

**From:** Perfect Jealousboyfriend _11:02am_  
**Message:** She will not, Stiles.

**To:** Perfect Jealousboyfriend _11:04am _  
**Message:** will tooo, ring golden boy.

**From:** Perfect Jealousboyfriend _11:07am_  
**Message:** Why do you want Isaac there so badly?

**To:** Perfect Jealousboyfriend _11:10am_  
**Message:** he's extrmly attractive.

**From:** GoldenBoy _11:12am_  
**Message:** y does derek want me 2 stay away frm u?

**To:** GoldenBoy _11:13am_  
**Message:** bcuz hes a jelous bastrd.

**To: **Perfect Jealousboyfriend _11:14am_  
**Message:** yuo yelled at isaac!

**From:** GoldenBoy _11:15am _  
**Message:** oh..

**From:** Perfect Jealousboyfriend _11:15am_  
**Message:** No, I didn't.

**To:** GoldenBoy _11:17am_  
**Message:** your a liar who lies!1

**To:** GoldenBoy _11:18am_  
**Message:** srry wrong person

**To:** Perfect Jealousboyfriend _11:18am_  
**Message:** your a liar who lies! learn sarcsm!

**From:** GoldenBoy _11:19am _  
**Message:** kay.

**From:** Perfect Jealousboyfriend _11:20am_  
**Message:** Boyd's coming.

**To:** Perfect Jealousboyfriend _11:21am _  
**Message:** keep him away from aunt H.

**From:** Perfect Jealousboyfriend _11:22am_  
**Message:** Why?

**To:** Perfect Jealousboyfriend _11:23am _  
**Message:** super rascism.

**From:** Perfect Jealousboyfriend _11:25am_  
**Message:** Is she coming to lunch?

**To:** Perfect Jealousboyfriend _11:26am_  
**Message:** no she doesn't really llike me

**From:** Perfect Jealousboyfriend _11:27am_  
**Message:** Meet us there. Why?

**To:** Perfect Jealousboyfriend _11:29am _  
**Message:** okay. uh.. im gay?

**To:** Perfect Jealousboyfriend _11:34am_  
**Message:** Derek?

**To:** Perfect Jealousboyfriend _12:12pm_  
**Message:** i cant belive you yelled at her.

**From:** Perfect Jealousboyfriend _12:15pm _  
**Message:** She deserved it.

**To:** Perfect Jealousboyfriend _12:17pm _  
**Message:** no arguments. i like the part where you said 'i love him' xoxo

**From:** Perfect Jealousboyfriend _12:18pm_  
**Message:** You would. Lunch?

**To:** Perfect Jealousboyfriend _12:19pm _  
**Message:** well be there

* * *

**Thursday - Night**

* * *

**To:** SourWolf Returns _10:11pm_  
**Message:** Jim Beam

**From:** SourWolf Returns _10:13pm_  
**Message:** I'm not supplying you with alcohol.

**To:** SourWolf Returns _10:14pm_  
**Message:** butt! scottys bithday!

**From:** SourWolf Returns _10:17pm_  
**Message:** We can't get drunk, Stiles.

**To:** SourWolf Returns _10:18pm_  
**Message:** thought that counts

**From:** SourWolf Returns _10:19pm_  
**Message:** I think you just want to get wasted again.

**To:** SourWolf Returns _10:22pm_  
**Message:** we promised not to talk abut that

**From:** SourWolf Returns _10:23pm_  
**Message:** I'm sorry.

**From:** SourWolf Returns _10:34pm _  
**Message:** Stiles..?

**To:** SourWolf Returns _10:36pm_  
**Message:** yeh.

**From:** SourWolf Returns _10:37pm _  
**Message:** If I get arrested for supplying a minor...

**To:** SourWolf Returns _10:39pm_  
**Message:** dadll prolly shoot you but evryons 18 but me so your solid.

**From:** SourWolf Returns _10:41pm_  
**Message:** -.-'

**To:** SourWolf Returns _10:43pm _  
**Message:** best part?!

**From:** SourWolf Returns _10:45pm_  
**Message:** What's that?

**To:** SourWolf Returns _10:47pm_  
**Message:** scotty &&me 3 days apart!

**To:** SourWolf Returns _10:49pm_  
**Message:** Derek?

**From:** SourWolf Returns _10:51pm_  
**Message:** Your birthday is on Sunday.

**To:** SourWolf Returns _10:52pm_  
**Message:** yup. i told you that

**From:** SourWolf Returns _10:53pm_  
**Message:** No. You didn't.

**To:** SourWolf Returns _10:55pm_  
**Message:** huh... so beer?

**From:** SourWolf Returns _10:57pm_  
**Message:** So you will be 18 on Sunday?

**To:** SourWolf Returns _10:59pm_  
**Message:** so weve extabl...o.o

**To:** SourWolf Returns _11:02pm_  
**Message:** no more dadblock. best day ever.

* * *

**Friday - Afternoon**

* * *

**To:** Scott McAwesome _2:15pm_  
**Message:** were are you?

**From:** Scott McAwesome _2:18pm_  
**Message:** school field? whad you give us?

**To:** Scott McAwesome _2:20pm_  
**Message:** did u jail break my phone?

**From:** Scott McAwesome _2:22pm_  
**Message:** i am awsum. srsly whad was that drink

**To:** Scott McAwesome _2:25pm_  
**Message:** delphinum. sposed to get wolves drunk

**From:** Scott McAwesome _2:27pm_  
**Message:** mission acomplished.

**To:** Scott McAwesome _2:30pm _  
**Message:** am i wear isaacs shirt?

**From:** Scott McAwesome _2:32pm_  
**Message:** said wuld lok bettr on you.

**To:** Scott McAwesome _2:33pm_  
**Message:** it does.

**From:** Scott McAwesome _2:36pm _  
**Message:** mmm were everyon?

**To:** Scott McAwesome _2:38pm_  
**Message:** asleep on erica on boyd near jackson by lyd.

**From:** Scott McAwesome _2:40pm_  
**Message:** i woke up w/ dany on my stomac

**To:** Scott McAwesome _2:42pm_  
**Message:** wheres issaac?

**From:** Scott McAwesome _2:52pm_  
**Message:** on my chest.

**To:** Scott McAwesome _2:55pm_  
**Message:** whore

**From:** Scott McAwesome _2:57pm _  
**Message:** yeh weres derek?

**To:** Scott McAwesome _3:04pm_  
**Message:** least im dating my bed buddy.

* * *

**Saturday - Afternoon**

* * *

**From:** Sexy Wolfman _12:17pm_  
**Message:** I think I'm still drunk.

**To:** Sexy Wolfman _12:19pm_  
**Message:** so i used too much. bound to be coupls mishaps

**From:** Sexy Wolfman _12:22pm_  
**Message:** You won't be making that again.

**To:** Sexy Wolfram _12:24pm_  
**Message:** not a party till people get drunk

**From:** Sexy Wolfram _12:27pm_  
**Message:** Scott, Isaac, and Danny could have been arrested.

**To:** Sexy Wolfman _12:29pm_  
**Message:** not my fault they got sexy in the field.

**From:** Sexy Wolfman _12:31pm_  
**Message:** Yes it is, and you won't do it again.

**To:** Sexy Wolfman _12:34pm _  
**Message:** well you took so not anytim e soon.

**From:** Sexy Wolfman _12:37pm_  
**Message:** Never.

**To:** Sexy Wolfman _12:39pm_  
**Message:** what about tomorrow!?

**From:** Sexy Wolfman _12:41pm_  
**Message:** You want a drunk Alpha tomorrow night?

**To:** Sexy Wolfman _12:42pm_  
**Message:** no i want drunk evryone else

**From:** Sexy Wolfman _12:45pm_  
**Message:** They won't be there.

**From:** Sexy Wolfman _12:52pm_  
**Message:** Stiles?

**To:** Sexy Wolfman _12:53pm_  
**Message:** my partys in the aftrnoon.

**From:** Sexy Wolfman _12:54pm _  
**Message:** Yes. What's wrong?

**To:** Sexy Wolfman _12:57pm _  
**Message:** then dinner with just ypu..

**From:** Sexy Wolfman _1:00pm_  
**Message:** If you want to cancel...

**To:** Sexy Wolfman _1:03pm_  
**Message:** then i get to spend all night with you.

**From:** Sexy Wolfman _1:05pm_  
**Message:** If you want to.

**To:** Sexy Wolfman _1:07pm _  
**Message:** Best. Birthday. Ever.

**From:** Sexy Wolfman _1:09pm_  
**Message:** Xoxo.

* * *

**A/N:** Someone asked for more. This is entirely their fault. Seriously, does the word "message" look weird to anyone else?  
R&R - [Favorite line?]


	3. Fun with Comics

**Title:** Texting Under The Influence  
**Summary:** Stiles' godmother learns Derek's age. Scott finds this amusing. Pack pulls a prank. Stydia bonding.  
**Rating:** K+ (Boys Kissing...and stuff)  
**Coupling:** Sterek, ScIsaNny (How does one "tri-couple" name?)

* * *

**Saturday - Afternoon**

* * *

**To:** AlphaHeart _1:15pm_  
**Message:** Ok. hypothetically speaking...

**From:** AlphaHeart _1:18pm_  
**Message:** Yes?

**To:** AlphaHeart _1:22pm_  
**Message:** itd have to be wolfsbane to hurt right? a bullet

**From:** AlphaHeart _1:25pm_  
**Message:** They all hurt, Stiles.

**To:** AlphaHeart _1:28pm_  
**Message:** Okay. but it wont hurt bad?

**From:** AlphaHeart _1:30pm_  
**Message:** Initially. It would heal though. Why?

**To:** AlphaHeart _1:32pm_  
**Message:** Aunt B read yor file, like the DOB and such...

**To:** AlphaHeart _1:38pm_  
**Message:** Derek?

**To:** AlphaHeart _1:45pm_  
**Message:** R U BREATHIN JUS TEL ME THAT!?

**From:** Satans Mistress _1:46pm_  
**Message:** Any particular reason Derek is now Caucasian?

**To:** Satans Mistress _1:48pm_  
**Message:** Aunt B knows?

**From:** Satans Mistress _1:50pm_  
**Message:** about wolves!?

**To:** Satans Mistress _1:52pm_  
**Message:** no! about me...& Derek...& his age..

**From:** Satans Mistress _1:54pm_  
**Message:** You bitches are lunch meat.

**To:** Satans Mistress _1:56pm_  
**Message:** im legal now!

**From:** Satans Mistress _1:57pm_  
**Message:** Yeah, "now!"

**From:** GoldenBoy _1:57pm_  
**Message:** E says ur gon die. can i have scott?

**To:** GoldenBoy _1:58pm_  
**Message:** i donot own scotty. thank yu for caring abut my death.

**From:** Satans Mistress _2:00pm_  
**Message:** Derek is on his way.

**To:** Satans Mistress _2:02pm_  
**Message:** i thought he liked me! whys he wanna die?!

**To:** AlphaHeart _2:03pm_  
**Message:** ar you suicidl?

**From:** Satans Mistress _2:03pm_  
**Message:** He loves you, baby that's why he'll risk his health explaining.

**From:** AlphaHeart _2:04pm_  
**Message:** I'll be fine, Stiles.

**To:** Satans Mistress _2:04pm_  
**Message:** you can be realy sweet when you want.

**From:** Satans Mistress _2:05pm_  
**Message:** Tell anyone, I end your existence. 143

* * *

**Saturday - Night**

* * *

**To:** McPup _10:59pm_  
**Message:** was it necessary to point a gun his face?

**From:** McPup _11:01pm_  
**Message:** necessary? no. funy yes. ;P

**To:** McPup _11:02pm_  
**Message:** And when i tell him u said this?

**From:** McPup _11:04pm_  
**Message:** we speak of fox/hound.

**To:** McPup _11:06pm_  
**Message:** one word scotty

**From:** McPup _11:08pm_  
**Message:** whut ull slap me? xD

**To:** McPup _11:09pm_  
**Message:** no i srsly meant one. word.

**From:** McPup _11:10pm_  
**Message:** fine. whut word?

**To:** McPup _11:11pm_  
**Message:** Slender.

**From:** McPup _11:14pm_  
**Message:** ur a sonofabith stiles.

**From:** McPup _11:23pm _  
**Message:** stiles?

* * *

**Sunday - Morning**

* * *

**To:** Scott McCall _12:00am_  
**Message:** Hello, Scott.

**From:** Scott McCall _12:04am_  
**Message:** whosis?

**To:** Scott McCall _12:05am_  
**Message:** Lock your windows lately, Scott?

**From:** Scott McCall _12:11am_  
**Message:** relly stiles? burn pone?

**To:** Scott McCall _12:12am_  
**Message:** Who is 'Stiles'?

**From:** McPup _12:15am_  
**Message:** were r u?

**From:** McPup _12:17am_  
**Message:** cant txt 2 phones once :)

**To:** McPup _12:20am_  
**Message:** r u drunk rite now?

**To: **Scott McCall _12:20am_  
**Message:** I do not like to be ignored, Scott.

**From:** McPup _12:29am_  
**Message:** stiles hes gon eat me o.o

* * *

**Monday - Afternoon**

* * *

**To:** Scaredy McPup _1:14pm_  
**Message:** have to forgive me sometime.

**To:** Scaredy McPup _1:17pm_  
**Message:** i'll make you cookies

**To:** Scaredy McPup _1:20pm_  
**Message:** srsly! it wasnt even me or my idea

**From:** Scaredy McPup _1:22pm_  
**Message:** ur byfrnd! half ur fault!

**To:** Scaredy McPup _1:24pm_  
**Message:** how?!

**From:** Scaredy McPup _1:25pm_  
**Message:** oatmeal chocochip.

**From:** Scaredy McPup _1:26pm_  
**Message:** u mad him twistd lik u!

**To:** Scaredy McPup _1:30pm_  
**Message:** i luv u 2?

**From:** Scaredy McPup _1:32pm_  
**Message:** whatevr.

**To:** Scaredy McPup _1:39pm_  
**Message:** i still can't belive you crawled in w/ dany.

**From:** Scaredy McPup _1:40pm_  
**Message:** I WAS TERFIED!

**To:** Scaredy McPup _1:41pm_  
**Message:** so was his mom this mornin. xD

**From:** Scaredy McPup _1:43pm_  
**Message:** i said sorry :(

**To:** Scaredy McPup _1:44pm_  
**Message:** i think Danny liked bein protector.

**To:** Scaredy McPup _1:50pm_  
**Message:** did isaac feel left out?

**From:** Scaredy McPup _1:51pm_  
**Message:** we mad it up to him ;D

**To:** Scaredy McPup _1:55pm_  
**Message:** coulda spent my whole life without that mental shot.

* * *

**Tuesday**

* * *

**To:** Cap'n America _10:15am_  
**Message:** Someone vandalized my phone. who is this?

**From:** Cap'n America _10:17am_  
**Message:** Who does it say it is?

**To:** Cap'n America _10:18am_  
**Message:** Captain America.

**From:** Cap'n America _10:20am_  
**Message:** Leave it like that.

**To:** Cap'n America _10:21am_  
**Message:** no srsly who is this?

**To:** Cap'n America _10:32am_  
**Message:** Hello?!

**x**

**To:** Black Widow _10:39am_  
**Message:** Lydia or Erica?

**From:** Black Widow _10:40am_  
**Message:** Excuse me?

**To:** Black Widow _10:41am_  
**Message:** Who is this?

**From:** Black Widow _10:42am_  
**Message:** Who does it say it is?

**To:** Black Widow _10:44am_  
**Message:** Black Widow...

**From:** Black Widow _10:45am_  
**Message:** Leave it.

**To:** Black Widow _10:47am_  
**Message:** NO! WHO IS THIS!?

**To:** Black Widow _10:50am_  
**Message:** why do you do this!?

**x**

**To:** Thor _10:58am_  
**Message:** Okay, this has to be Derek or Boyd. or Jax.. he thinks hes a god.

**From:** Thor _11:00am_  
**Message:** What?

**To:** Thor _11:01am_  
**Message:** are you Boyd?

**From:** Thor _11:03am_  
**Message:** Shouldn't that be in your contact information?

**To:** Thor _11:03am_  
**Message:** Really!?

**x**

**From:** Hulk _12:04pm_  
**Message:** What are you doing right now?

**To:** Hulk _12:06pm_  
**Message:** Okay this is just mean.

**From:** Hulk _12:07pm_  
**Message:** Stiles?

**To:** Hulk _12:08pm_  
**Message:** No.

**From:** Hulk _12:09pm_  
**Message:** This is Derek.

**To:** Hulk _12:11pm_  
**Message:** Prove it.

**From:** Hulk _12:12pm_  
**Message:** I love you.

**To:** Hulk _12:13pm_  
**Message:** ...thats the best you can do? not proof.

**From:** Hulk _12:14pm_  
**Message:** Seriously, Stiles?

**To:** Hulk _12:15pm_  
**Message:** I HATE YOU ALL FOR ABUSING THE AVENGERS!

**From:** Nick Fury _12:15pm_  
**Message:** Why are you in my phone as 'Ironman'?

**To:** Nick Fury _12:16pm_  
**Message:** ...they made me Tony?! That's awesome!

**From:** Nick Fury _12:16pm_  
**Message:** Really, Stiles?

**To:** Nick Fury _12:17pm_  
**Message:** They changed all the pack names to Avengers.

**From:** Nick Fury _12:18pm_  
**Message:** That explains the snickering.

**To:** Nick Fury _12:19pm_  
**Message:** Yay, Derek ^_^ xo

**From:** Nick Fury _12:20pm_  
**Message:** Who else would it be?

**From:** Nick Fury _12:20pm_  
**Message:** Who am I in your phone as?

**To:** Nick Fury _12:21pm_  
**Message:** Director Fury... OH!

**From:** Nick Fury _12:22pm_  
**Message:** Stiles?

**x**

**To:** Cap'n America _12:23pm_  
**Message:** Really Danny?

**From:** Cap'n America _12:24pm_  
**Message:** It's because I'm clearly the better looking of us.

**To:** Black Widow _12:24pm_  
**Message:** Though I approve, this is below you, Lyd.

**From:** Black Widow _12:25pm_  
**Message:** Seriously, leave it as this. I like it.

**To:** Thor _12:25pm_  
**Message:** Narcissism, Boyd.

**To:** Black Widow _12:26pm_  
**Message:** You would.

**To:** Hulk _12:26pm_  
**Message:** How much were you paid to tell me you love me, Jax?

**To:** Agent 13 _12:26pm_  
**Message:** No arguments, E.

**From:** Agent 13 _12:26pm_  
**Message:** Damn straight, there are no arguments.

**From:** Hulk _12:27pm_  
**Message:** not nearly enough, Stilinski.

**To:** Hulk _12:27pm _  
**Message:** I prefer Tony.

**To:** Phil Coulson _12:28pm_  
**Message:** You got ripped, Scotty.

**To:** Stan Lee _12:28pm_  
**Message:** Isaac, baby why?

**From:** Hulk _12:29pm_  
**Message:** Dick.

**From:** Phil Coulson _12:29pm_  
**Message:** i didnt get 2 choose

**To:** Phil Coulson _12:30pm_  
**Message:** who did?

**From:** Stan Lee _12:30pm_  
**Message:** my idea! :D

**To:** Phil Coulson _12:30pm_  
**Message:** nvrmind.

* * *

**Wednesday - Morning**

* * *

**To:** Black Widow _8:03am_  
**Message:** can i ask somethin?

**From:** Black Widow _8:05am_  
**Message:** At 8am, with that grammar?

**To:** Black Widow _8:06am_  
**Message:** May I ask you a question, Milady?

**From:** Black Widow _8:07am_  
**Message:** You may.

**To:** Black Widow _8:09am_  
**Message:** Who's Loki?

**From:** Black Widow _8:10am_  
**Message:** Hale Sr. Psycho.

**To:** Black Widow _8:11am_  
**Message:** i didn't have his number.

**From:** Black Widow _8:12am_  
**Message:** Derek made us all add him. We saved you the trouble.

**To:** Black Widow _8:13am_  
**Message:** You all put him as Loki?

**From:** Black Widow _8:14am_  
**Message:** I put him as Voldemort.

**To:** Black Widow _8:15am_  
**Message:** reason I loved you #17.

**To:** Black Widow _8:16am_  
**Message:** what about the others? Scott, Is, Danny, Jax...

**From:** Black Widow _8:17am_  
**Message:** I want that list.

**To:** Black Widow _8:18am_  
**Message:** Never in your life. Well?

**From:** Black Widow _8:18am_  
**Message:** One item per answer. Scott - The Other.

**To:** Black Widow _8:19am_  
**Message:** fine. strawberry curls. Isaac?

**From:** Black Widow _8:19am_  
**Message:** Going to have to do better for Jackson's answer. Isaac - Satan.

**To:** Black Widow _8:20am_  
**Message:** i'm deeply disappointed in isaac. your laugh.

**From:** Black Widow _8:22am_  
**Message:** Boyd - Stryker. I was as well, no imagination there.

**To:** Black Widow_ 8:23am_  
**Message:** PROUD. eyes.

**From:** Black Widow _8:24am_  
**Message:** Derek - P. Hale.

**To:** Black Widow_ 8:25am_  
**Message:** im regreting my life choices. your brain.

**To:** Black Widow _8:32am_  
**Message:** Lyd?

**From:** Black Widow_ 8:35am_  
**Message:** Brushing my teeth. Erica - Sauron.

**To:** Black Widow_ 8:37am_  
**Message:** now I have to marry her. your honesty.

**From:** Black Widow _8:39am_  
**Message:** Danny - Red Skull.

**To:** Black Widow _8:42am_  
**Message:** think scott would kill em if I kissed Danny?

**From:** Black Widow _8:44am_  
**Message:** Derek might hurt him.

**To:** Black Widow _8:45am_  
**Message:** distract him?

**From:** Black Widow _8:46am_  
**Message:** Scent, Darling.

**To:** Black Widow _8:47am_  
**Message:** see! brains.

**From:** Black Widow _8:48am_  
**Message:** Nice try. Spill if you want Jackson's.

**To:** Black Widow _8:49am_  
**Message:** I admire your strength. How you accept all of it and go on.

**From:** Black Widow _8:52am_  
**Message:** James. I love you.

**To:** Black Widow _8:53am_  
**Message:** was that msg for me?

**From:** Black Widow _8:54am_  
**Message:** Gotta catch 'em all?

**To:** Black Widow _8:59am_  
**Message: **omg i just fell for Jackson a lil bit.

**To:** Black Widow _9:07am_  
**Message:** Lyd?

**To:** Black Widow _9:15am_  
**Message:** Black Widow?

**From:** Hulk Hyde _9:16am_  
**Message:** Why is Lydia telling me you're in love with me?

**To:** Hulk Hyde _9:16am_  
**Message:** i hav to go kill myself now.

**From:** Hulk Hyde _9:16am_  
**Message:** ?

* * *

**Thursday - Night**

* * *

**From:** Derek Fury _7:15pm_  
**Message:** Where are you?

**From:** Derek Fury _7:32pm_  
**Message:** Stiles, where ARE you?

**From:** Derek Fury _7:43pm_  
**Message:** Stiles?!

**To:** Derek Fury _7:44pm_  
**Message:** cant make it.

**From:** Derek Fury _7:45pm_  
**Message:** Why not?

**To:** Derek Fury _7:46pm_  
**Message:** I wanna die.

**From:** Derek Fury _7:46pm_  
**Message:** No.

**To:** Derek Fury _7:47pm_  
**Message:** YOU HAVE NOC HOICE INT HE MATTER!

**From:** Derek Fury _7:48pm_  
**Message:** Stiles, what's wrong? No one has heard from you since yesterday.

**To:** Derek Fury _7:50pm_  
**Message:** Lydia is Satan.

**From:** Derek Fury _7:52pm_  
**Message:** ...?

**From:** Hulk Hyde _7:53pm_  
**Message:** I just got punched for you, man!

**To:** Hulk Hyde _7:54pm_  
**Message:** ?! .3?

**From:** Hulk Hyde _7:54pm_  
**Message:** It's Jackson.

**To:** Hulk Hyde _7:55pm_  
**Message:** i know that! why were you hit?

**From:** Cap'n America _7:56pm_  
**Message:** Lydia says you have undying love for Jackson?

**To:** Cap'n America _7:58pm_  
**Message:** how long till i have an alpha on my windosil?

**From:** Cap'n America _7:59pm_  
**Message:** 3 min tops.

**To:** Cap'n America _8:00pm_  
**Message:** all over a Pokemon refernc... -.-'

**From:** Cap'n America _8:01pm_  
**Message:** Lydia told you? xD

**From:** Hulk Hyde _8:02pm_  
Message: Tell anyone and I'll hurt you.

**To:** Hulk Hyde _8:03pm_  
**Message:** Watch who you threaten, Jackson.

* * *

**Friday - Morning**

* * *

**To:** Agent 13 _10:21am_  
**Message:** Lunch?

**From:** Agent 13 _10:23am_  
**Message:** Are you baking?

**To:** Agent 13 _10:25am_  
**Message:** if u mean cooking, yeh.

**From:** Agent 13 _10:30am_  
**Message:** No, I mean baking. I want your buns, Stiles.

**To:** Agent 13 _10:32am_  
**Message:** if Derek read that. Hed grin.

**From:** Agent 13 _10:34am_  
**Message:** Pics or it didn't happen. I meant cinnamon buns.

_**~GROUP MESSAGE~**_  
**To:** Hulk Hyde, Cap'n America, Black Widow, Thor, McPup, GoldenBoy _10:40am_  
**Message:** Lunch! 11:45ish..

**From:** Cap'n America 10:40am  
**Message:** You baking?

**From:** Black Widow 10:40am  
**Message:** Cinnamon buns?

**From:** Thor 10:40am  
**Message:** Baking?

**From:** Hulk Hyde 10:41am  
**Message:** If you're baking.

**From:** McPup 10:41am  
**Message:** cinbuns!?

**From:** GoldenBoy 10:41am  
**Message:** u makin me cinnibuns?

_**~GROUP MESSAGE~** _  
**To:** Hulk Hyde, Cap'n America, Black Widow, Thor, McPup, GoldenBoy _10:43am_  
**Message:** is that all im good for?!

**From:** Hulk Hyde _10:44am_  
**Message:** Basically.

**From:** McPup _10:45am_  
**Message:** i lik yur pasta to

**From:** GoldenBoy _10:45am_  
**Message:** You make Derek smile. And you help us all the time.

**From:** Black Widow _10:45am_  
**Message:** Embrace it, darling.

**From:** Thor _10:46am_  
**Message:** Smartest of all of us. Except maybe Lyd, but you know...

**From:** Cap'n America _10:46am_  
**Message:** You have a gift for baking, Stiles. Own it.

_**~GROUP MESSAGE~**_  
**To:** Hulk Hyde, Cap'n America, Black Widow, Thor, McPup, GoldenBoy _10:50am_  
**Message:** Boyd gets extra. Isaac gets two.

**From:** Hulk Hyde _10:51am_  
**Message:** But you're in love with me. ;)

**From:** Cap'n America _10:51am_  
**Message:** Don't need that much sugar anyway.

**From:** Black Widow _10:51am_  
**Message:** I beg your pardon?

**From:** McPup _10:52am_  
**Message:** :(((

**From:** GoldenBoy _10:53am_  
**Message:** cool. :D

**x**

**To:** Derek B. Jelly _11:00am_  
**Message:** wake up and help me.

**To:** Derek B. Jelly _11:02am_  
**Message:** if i hear you phoen you hear your phone.

**To:** Derek B. Jelly _11:10am_  
**Message:** DEREK!

**From:** Derek B. Jelly _11:12am_  
**Message:** Why not wake me in person?

**To:** Derek B. Jelly _11:13am_  
**Message:** you'd drag me in and i'd burn the cinnamon buns.

**From:** Derek B. Jelly _11:14am_  
**Message:** It would be worth it.

**To:** Derek B. Jelly _11:15am_  
**Message:** No arguments here.

**From:** Derek B Jelly _11:16am_  
**Message:** xo.

* * *

**A/N:** OKAY! That was a boat load of ridiculous. My muse is a vindictive witch who wakes me up and ass in the morning with ideas. ***I*** got confused with those names lets see if I can set them straight. (Heh, heh orientation jokes). BONUS POINTS for Coulson/Cap'n lerve! If you can tell me when Derek's contact name for Peter is witty (and lame) I will... send you a clip of my next fic? If you want.

_**Order of Stupid:**_  
**Peter** - Loki, Voldemort, The Other, Satan, Stryker, P. Hale, Sauron, Red Skull, James  
**Scott** - McPup, Scott McCall, Scaredy McPup, Phil Coulson  
**Derek** - AlphaHeart, Nick Fury, Derek Fury, Derek B. Jelly  
**Erica** - Satans Mistress, Agent 13  
**Isaac** - GoldenBoy, Stan Lee  
**Jackson** - Hulk, Hulk Hyde  
**Danny** - Cap'n America  
**Lydia** - Black Widow  
**Boyd** - Thor


End file.
